It's so good to see dear friends...Sandy, Muna, Misty, Amanda F, Amanda G, Melanie, Hilary, and a new friend Vania (her first night volunteering....by the way, thanks Bekah for the awesome referral). I have come to realize that I miss my dear friends...it had been a few weeks since some of us crossed paths on a Friday night and it was so warming to my heart to be with my girlfriends again.
We started out with one of our guests R coming in early with exuberance that just could not be contained....she was granted her apartment that she has been hoping so much for. And one of the first things she said, "you know it's that one I told you all about and that we prayed for!" Three weeks ago a few of us were in her motel room, the one she's been living in for 8 mos, and she asked for us to pray for this. Thank you God for bestowing such a blessing on this miraculous woman who has been through so much. She now has a stable place to live that is her own...and it's literally the first home she's ever known that completely belongs to her. When she walked in tonight, it was clear that she was glowing...and we all agreed she looked so beautiful. And then the floodgates opened and she talked like I've never heard her talk. She shared about her upbringing, what happened to her as a little girl, a tragedy at age 16 that despite her years of very hard living she could still recall with such vivid detail...and then all the pain that followed for the next 25 yrs that most of us could never even fathom. She preached about what is happening to women out there, and not just the ones on the streets but what is happening behind closed doors...look out world, this woman has something important to say! There is absolutely every reason out there that she shouldn't be alive today...but yet she said that God has a plan for her, that she's not done healing and still has a long way to go. I looked at this radiant, insightful, and COURAGEOUS woman sitting next to me who has a heart that is bursting to know and fully understand her value...and I am in awe that beside me is a miracle of God unleashing. Did you all hear angels singing tonight?
I have come to the conclusion that SC is not about what I can offer, or that I serve...but that God is chiseling down my layers and getting to my heart as much as he is for R, or any of our guests. R told us that she's very lonely, that she doesn't really have any girl friends....and honestly, I began to think about that commitment, and how it might interfere with my life (i.e. I live so far from her, I just don't have the time with school, work, etc)...and I just felt sick inside. How quickly my selfishness wormed its way into the whole picture...and how sad it all of a sudden became about me, as if I would be the one "giving" and not her. So God forgive me, because I have so much to learn from R about faith and hope in the midst of pain, AND perseverance, AND inner strength, AND delight in the blessings you bestow. We have committed to develop relationship with women, to see their hearts restored...and that is a long journey, and one that we also claim for ourselves firsthand. All of us who are women especially know that, "if not but for the grace of God...and a good friend," we might have fallen time and time again. So, to my good friends who have helped pick up "my pieces" when they were scattered, I love you and thank God for you...now it's time for me to do the same.
Amanda F made a striking comment tonight about how effective it would be if a community of people went together overseas to an area to serve long-term versus just one or a few or a short amount of time. And I'm thinking...we are not overseas, but here we are a community of people committed and united to serve long-term in this small part of Portland. So, to those of you who have responded and are now a part of the SC community, I feel so incredibly blessed to live part of life with you. May we be challenged together, encouraged by each other, and may we continue to sing and dance always with one another.
Love,
Carol (Co-founder, Co-leader)
The street team had a great night, it was apparent that tonight there were a lot more women on the streets. The last four or five months have been flooded with hundreds of arrests in the area and things have been more "hidden," but last night there were some more faces on the street. It was noted that the ladies on the street were pretty young compared to the usual older crowd. We pray that these women are not underage, and as always we pray that every woman is safe. I often pray on my way to SC, and as I'm driving I crane my neck to see familiar faces walking down Sandy. It's interesting to me that I'm starting to feel that Sandy is MY neighborhood, and not just somewhere I go on Friday nights. I look around at the Clubs and Motels that we visit and feel connected to the people going in and out. I feel excited when I do see a familiar face and I feel even more excited when I see that face walk into SC.
S and D came tonight again. S is still her Diva self, but she is becoming more and more real each time I see her. She is a "class clown" and so funny, it's a part of her personality, but she also uses it as a coping tool. I love that she can come into SC and crack a joke when it's funny but also sit back and share her wisdom with us. She is listening a lot more now too, and really wanting to make a personal connection with everyone at SC. We had a new volunteer tonight and S was so excited to greet a new face and make her feel welcome. She always makes a point to ask about the volunteers that aren't there on that particular Friday and makes a point to see who's coming next week. She truly is our sister and means so much to us.
D was quite for most of the night but was sharing with us that she is feeling sad about the relationships she has with her daughters. She feels that they don't want to be around her and don't enjoy talking with her. I pray that D can find love and acceptance at SC and feel the love from women that she deserves. It is apparent that D is a smart lady and she has been financially successful in the past, she ran into some troubles and she feels that she is hit rock bottom. She is currently going to a job servicing center once a week looking for work, but her dream is to become a job assistance counselor for vets in Portland (she's a vet herself!)
What is so clear to me is that there are a lot of women who care in Portland. Listening to D, S and R opens my eyes to a certain raw love, a love that has been attacked by hurt and beat down by pain so much but it perseveres. I know that this love is God's love and it is so beautiful to see it in every one of us. My hope is that we can break down walls of hurt and pain and love ourselves, and each other as God has intended.
Love,
Amanda (Co-founder, Co-leader)
Here is my (Tiffany) response, if you're interested:
Hello Lovely SC Sisters and greetings from the other side of the earth. I just finished reading last week's Friday night update. I've been eager to read it for several days now, but I have learned that I must give myself the time and space (physically and emotionally) for reading SC updates. They hit me so deeply and intensely, each and every time. I always know the tears are gonna flow, it's just a matter of when. This time it was the moment I finished reading the last line about breaking down walls of hurt and pain, and loving ourselves and each other as God has intended.
The women in Amsterdam are so hard, and I feel oceans away from them, though I be only a canal or a bridge away. The Red Light here is so permeated with the enemy's lies, and the women seem so far gone. This place so desperately needs God's love, and I so desperately need his direction. Please pray for me in this place.
Be encouraged Carol, about your struggles with selfishness and commitment. For I too, through my encounters with the world of prostitution in Amsterdam and my own time with the Lord, am working at the barriers within. I am learning that it's all about hearing God's voice, that loving voice that calls us to love in action, to let go of the fears and prejudices we ALL have (whatever form they may take), and step out of our comfort zone in faith. This is so simply stated in writing, yet so difficult in body, mind and soul.
Thank you, all of you, for who you are to each other and to the ladies in the Sandy neighborhood. I miss Scarlet Cord so very much, and I thank you for gracing my email inbox every week with your eloquent words.
You are in my prayers always,
Tiffany
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