The Listening Bridge

Days and weeks can go by before I realize how much fret and worry I’ve allowed myself to endure in this crazy place, before I come to the Lord, exhausted and out of breath to declare,

"I can’t do it Lord, I can’t do this on my own. It’s too much for me. I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to give up. I want to go home."

And then the Lord says to me,

You want to give up, do you? Do you want to give up on all that I have begun here for you? The life journey you are embarking upon at this very moment?

"No Lord, I just can’t keep going in this way. Things are so difficult here. I don’t have the strength to do it, to persevere, to keep on, to endure, to persist, to fight the good fight, to see so many women lost in the snare of the sex industry. So many men hungry for something that can never satisfy the deep longing of their soul So many refugee friends without a home, money, citizenship, belonging or family. So many druggies lost in addiction, broken and useless in the eyes of the rest of the city."

Sometimes I feel as if I’m just roaming this place with no purpose, like a tiny sponge in an immense and dirty swamp, soaking in the polluted water, unable to clean anything up. What’s my role amongst all this dark sadness? I don’t have the strength to endure it all.

There’s a certain canal bridge I like to stop on. It’s become one of the places I feel closest to the Lord. On my bike ride home from the train station last night, I stopped at my usual stopping place to take in the view and talk with God. The moon wasn’t hung in it’s usual spot above the two stretching towers of the cathedral near the town square. I searched the sky for it, and found an almost half-moon further up, and more to the left. I felt relieved as my eyes fixed that glowing sign of comfort. The tension in my body loosed a little, and I took in the deepest breath of the day. With my exhale I thought, “Ahh, there you are”. And the Lord, the one I was so relieved to find there in the moon, told me this…

Tiffany, I made the moon.

"Yes, I know."

And the moon’s light is made by the sun.

"Yes Lord, I know."

And I made the sun.

"Yes Lord."

I am God, the creator of the universe. The sun, moon, Earth and stars, I set them all in place long ago.

"Yes, I know."

Do you see how the pond beneath you is frozen, and the air around you so cold? I make that happen. The changing of the seasons, the tilt of the Earth, the heat of the sun, the light of the moon are all my creation. I am the God of the Universe, powerful and in control of all.

"Yes Lord."

Sweet Tiffany, I know your worries, I see your difficulties, but do you not think that I, the God of the Universe am also in control of your life? Do you not believe that I see all that you see, feel all that you feel, and weep where you weep? Tiffany, I know your heart, for I made it. I planted the seeds of desire and hope in your heart, which are now growing and coming to fruition. Hold onto me Sweetness, for this is only the beginning of the journey of your lifetime.

Just as the sun lights the moon, which illuminates the darkness of night, dear child, so I give light to you. You have the strength to light the darkness around you, daughter of the Most High. Listen to me, follow my ways. I will not lead you astray. You are my daughter and in Me you will never be lost.

Friday, Dec. 26th Scarlet Cord Update

Hello Friends,



I hope this letter finds you all well, safe, and sound wherever you may be. This last week in Portland was in a nutshell…eventful. I am a native Portlandian and so this winter storm was rather impressive for us here in the PacNW and one of the biggest I've seen in my lifetime. I imagine those of you from places that see big winter storms thought this one here was the equivalent of a sniffle…but for us who are accustomed to mild winters, this definitely was a reminder that something greater than us is in control.



And that's kind of the whole point…something greater than us is in control, and for that reason Scarlet Cord continued despite the snow drifts and icy roads. God wasn't about to let her snowy blanket get in the way, and so this last Friday Muna, Carrie, Emily, and I (Carol) were able to make it in safely. It wasn't without some struggle: Emily's husband in an attempt to get up that little hill on 116th to the church to drop her off had to put on chains just for that one block…dear Melanie texted from La Center, Washington saying they were desperately trying to make it in after a million obstacles but it was slow, slow going. We reassured her just to be safe and just try and make it home, we were planning on shutting down early that night anyway.



We had a wonderful green bean casserole made from home canned green beans (compliments of Emily's mom or mom-in-law) made by Emily, Carrie brought a spinach salad with carrot and mango, and Muna brought drinks and a big tray of desserts she made that included banana bread, cream cheese/chocolate bars, cookies, and this insane caramel, oat, chocolate chip bar.



We didn't expect any visitors that night…the streets were dead. There wasn't much point to taking a street team out since we were just a small group and because there were no sidewalks and no side streets safe enough to walk/drive on (hmmm, could the 3-5ft plowed snow drifts have anything to do with that?). We stayed in and me being the anal compulsive freak that I am, took one look at that closet and felt the calling to clean up…and so I roped the others into my madness. We re-organized boxes and hygiene supplies, put together packs to hand out to the ladies, etc, etc. And now it looks so pretty! We then ate together, and decided to wrap it up for the night…it was about 8pm.



We were just beginning to pack everything up when…….D arrived! We didn't think she was coming back since she got her new job, but there she was. She had just come from a training and was so proud to show us her picture ID for her new job! We sat with her while she was able to finished the last little bit of food and she talked about her Christmas with her daughters, and her new job. And then here's where the tables turned…D brought us gifts! She had printed out an excerpt from a book she was reading, and made just enough copies for those of us that were there. The copies were too light on the 2nd page, so she hand wrote (!) part of page 2 on each of our copies. The excerpt was about developing a year-end ritual by writing answers to questions such as: what has inspired you this year, what are you grateful for this year, etc, etc. After answering the questions in a journal or whatever format, you're supposed to put it away until next year at this time.

D then shared with us that she had 2 goals for this last year: 1) to get a new job, and 2) to make some new friends. And when she said this last one, she looked right at us with a smile on her face…..



So, I'm thinking about some of those questions. What has inspired me this year and what am I grateful for? Literally the first thing that comes to my mind is all of you volunteers. Amanda, Jen, Tiff, and I keep saying that you have all been hand picked by God…you have all brought so much to the ministry. I'm so glad God brought all you amazing women (and 2 men!) who have SO MUCH to give. But also to answer those questions I can't help think some of our "regular women" who come to SC like D, S, and R. Just think about how much has happened to them in just a few short months…I wonder what God will bring in the next year? Where will they be one year from now? Where will we be? One thing for sure, I know that God is going to bring many more women into our lives like "our girls", and that this is only the beginning.



You all have got down in the pit with the least of these…literally. You all saw into the empty eyes of those walking the streets. You all have been walking alongside S as she developed trust and friendship with females for the first time in her life…answering her seeking questions, praying for her, loving and accepting her just as she is…broken and beautiful. You all have supported D during this hard time of the past creeping into her present keeping her from self-sufficiency, and showing love to her when her family seems to disregard her. You all were there listening to R as she began to open up her painful past, one sad story after another slowly unfolding…but there's grace and joy waiting for her, and we were there to share that with her. There are many others…you all know who I'm talking about…some have names, some don't (at least not yet!).



So, whatever ritual you practice if any at the end of a year, at least in the next few days take some time to thank God (if that is something you practice) for the last 6 mos. For those who have served directly on Friday nights, remember the faces you've seen…pray for them. Think of each other…the friends you've made, the new sisters you have…and pray for each other. Think about this next year…and pray that our hearts will continue to break, pray for continued direction, pray for even stronger connections with one another. And more than anything for all us whether serving directly or indirectly, pray that love turns this city upside down, that light illuminates the darkness, that all can know true freedom.



I love you all…Happy New Year…

Carol

My First Shift

Tonight was AMAZING, just in case you've been wondering. It's after midnight and I just got home from my first shift with the Scharlaken Koord. It's too late to write now. I just wanted to thank everyone who prayed for me this week. Thank you so much! God is good, so so Good. I don't know how I'm ever gonna get to sleep tonight!

Prayer Request

My first shift as volunteer with the Scharlaken Koord in Amsterdam’s Red Light District will be this Thursday evening (9am for you NorthWesterners). All volunteers will gather for a Christmas dinner celebration, and then hit the streets. This night will be special because we’ll be handing out a small Christmas gift to each person we speak with. We desire to bring light (and a little Christmas warmth) to a very dark place. In bringing light, there's a spiritual warfare that is constantly present. I trust in God for confidence and his anointed protection. Please keep me uplifted in your prayers this week!

Here’s some information from the Scharlaken Koord website about what I’ll be doing:

A few times a week, Scarlet Cord staff members visit the Amsterdam red-light district with a team of volunteers to reach out to the women behind the windows. In addition to giving them some personal attention and care, they share with the women behind the windows the Gospel that there is new life through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

The volunteers have been trained to undertake fieldwork activities. A number are former prostitutes themselves. Like the prostitutes behind the windows, many of them are from different countries and are therefore able to communicate with the women behind the windows in their own language.

Update, December

Ministry/Outreach Opportunity finally presented!
I have finally been accepted as a volunteer with a prostitution outreach organization, but this isn’t just the average. The Scharlaken Koord is the most established and successful prostitution alternatives organization in Amsterdam! Of all the organizations I have had contact with, this was the least likely, yet most beneficial possibility, and best fit for me. I’ve had many frustrations with waiting to get involved, but God had everything all figured out. I will start on the 18th of this month, and will be on the streets with experienced volunteers 3 times per week. One shift each week will be with a Spanish-speaking volunteer / former prostitute. I will go with her to the Spanish-speaking part of the Red Light District to talk with the ladies. The Scharlaken Koord will use me as a volunteer, and they also recognize my desire to learn about the administration and behind the scenes workings of their organization. They will be looking for opportunities for me to learn from them in this way, along with field work experiences on the street.

The Scharlaken Koord www.scharlakenkoord.nl
(look for the English tab on the left of the webpage)
The organization is called The Scharlaken Koord (Dutch for Scarlet Cord). *We at Scarlet Cord Portland didn’t know of this organization when we chose our name.* It was founded in 1987. What started as some volunteers talking with prostitutes in the windows a few times a week, has since grown into a respected and successful ministry and prostitution alternatives agency. The Scharlaken Koord provides fieldwork, prevention, information, advice, social work, publications and expertise in Amsterdam and other cities throughout the Netherlands.

I am humbled, thankful, excited and blessed to be welcomed into such an established organization. Considering I don’t speak Dutch, and I cannot make a commitment in regards to length of my stay in Amsterdam, I am amazed by this invitation and wonderful opportunity. God is so good!

Work, Family & Finances
It’s strange, but just as the door of opportunity for involvement in the Red Light District has opened up, several aspects of my life have changed in ways that could cause me to doubt and fear.

I have very little money, not even enough to pay my bills back home next month, let alone purchase a return ticket to Portland (whenever that will be). The little money I have earned each month from my work as au pair goes directly to the train and metro transit system for my transportation to and from Amsterdam several times per week. Despite financial need, I have decided to end my job here at the end of next month. I believe it is not what I'm meant to be doing right now. I wasn’t able to obtain a visa as I had hoped. If I continue to work, I run the risk of getting into trouble. Another reason for terminating my employment early is that my father's health is declining quickly and I want to be available to return to Portland if need be. Doctors say he may pass away soon, in which case I will go home to be with family. At the same time, I am looking for a job opportunity (visa included) so I can stay, as long as the situation at home is stable, or can return to if that seems reasonable.

I’m sure this is confusing to you…it’s confusing to me as well. There is much uncertainty in my future. Please pray for me as you feel led. Now that I have joined an organization (and have run out of money), PLEASE prayerfully consider giving a bit of financial support on a one-time or monthly basis. I know, the economy is bad and Christmas is just a few weeks away… but every little bit will help at this time. The Lord has assured me all along that He will provide, and I trust this is true.

Here’s an estimate of the costs I need covered each month:
Transportation: $120
Student loan debt: $400
Return flight to Portland: upwards of $2000 (ouch!)

You can send your tax-deductible donation to:

Imago Dei Community Church
2830 NE Flanders, Portland, OR 97232
*make sure to write “Amsterdam” in the memo line

Thanks so much for your continued prayers and support. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas time this year!

~Tiffany

Scarlet Cord Friday Night Update, Nov. 28

Hello All,
There was a lack of communication in Scarlet Cord updates in the past few weeks. I did not receive any because they were not written. On behalf of my colleagues, I apologize. Here is the most recent update I have received...and still beautiful things are happening there each Friday night. ~Tiffany
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So in thinking about Friday night and the events and conversations that occurred, I count it as one more thing in a line of very special events in my life that are blessings, one after another. I've volunteered around, here and there, and one thing that I shy away from in a volunteer situation is any sort of condescension on the part of volunteers. I love that Scarlet Cord women are SO not like that! Friday nights we get together and yes we give out some realistic aid to women through food, hygiene products and referrals for other services that we don't provide that may be needed. But more importantly, it is a time of making friends, of facing and eating with and talking with other people who are sharing our same needs. I don't know a whole lot about what has happened in the lives of some of the women who come and hang out on Friday's with us. But the most important part that needs to be attended and freely given to is the heart. And that is the same for each woman sitting around the table on Fridays.

It was good to see R, D, and S again, and to eat a DELICIOUS meal of Sandy's "chicken kisses", a fresh green salad, and some good Thanksgiving leftovers. The walkabouts went well, and as I recall Sandy and Sarah noticed quite a bit of foot traffic around 82nd and Powell, which can be covered again in the future.

See you ladies later, and to everyone last Friday thanks for being your beautiful selves.

Esther (SC Volunteer)

Merry Christmas from the Dancing Elves: Tiffany, Ghaith, Carmen, Yoeri & Doran!

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