The Listening Bridge

Days and weeks can go by before I realize how much fret and worry I’ve allowed myself to endure in this crazy place, before I come to the Lord, exhausted and out of breath to declare,

"I can’t do it Lord, I can’t do this on my own. It’s too much for me. I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to give up. I want to go home."

And then the Lord says to me,

You want to give up, do you? Do you want to give up on all that I have begun here for you? The life journey you are embarking upon at this very moment?

"No Lord, I just can’t keep going in this way. Things are so difficult here. I don’t have the strength to do it, to persevere, to keep on, to endure, to persist, to fight the good fight, to see so many women lost in the snare of the sex industry. So many men hungry for something that can never satisfy the deep longing of their soul So many refugee friends without a home, money, citizenship, belonging or family. So many druggies lost in addiction, broken and useless in the eyes of the rest of the city."

Sometimes I feel as if I’m just roaming this place with no purpose, like a tiny sponge in an immense and dirty swamp, soaking in the polluted water, unable to clean anything up. What’s my role amongst all this dark sadness? I don’t have the strength to endure it all.

There’s a certain canal bridge I like to stop on. It’s become one of the places I feel closest to the Lord. On my bike ride home from the train station last night, I stopped at my usual stopping place to take in the view and talk with God. The moon wasn’t hung in it’s usual spot above the two stretching towers of the cathedral near the town square. I searched the sky for it, and found an almost half-moon further up, and more to the left. I felt relieved as my eyes fixed that glowing sign of comfort. The tension in my body loosed a little, and I took in the deepest breath of the day. With my exhale I thought, “Ahh, there you are”. And the Lord, the one I was so relieved to find there in the moon, told me this…

Tiffany, I made the moon.

"Yes, I know."

And the moon’s light is made by the sun.

"Yes Lord, I know."

And I made the sun.

"Yes Lord."

I am God, the creator of the universe. The sun, moon, Earth and stars, I set them all in place long ago.

"Yes, I know."

Do you see how the pond beneath you is frozen, and the air around you so cold? I make that happen. The changing of the seasons, the tilt of the Earth, the heat of the sun, the light of the moon are all my creation. I am the God of the Universe, powerful and in control of all.

"Yes Lord."

Sweet Tiffany, I know your worries, I see your difficulties, but do you not think that I, the God of the Universe am also in control of your life? Do you not believe that I see all that you see, feel all that you feel, and weep where you weep? Tiffany, I know your heart, for I made it. I planted the seeds of desire and hope in your heart, which are now growing and coming to fruition. Hold onto me Sweetness, for this is only the beginning of the journey of your lifetime.

Just as the sun lights the moon, which illuminates the darkness of night, dear child, so I give light to you. You have the strength to light the darkness around you, daughter of the Most High. Listen to me, follow my ways. I will not lead you astray. You are my daughter and in Me you will never be lost.